momthropology 101

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
High School.

Why is it that it’s the year 2012 and yet sometimes I feel like I’ve been transported back to the mid-90’s? It’s not the latest fashion trends. It’s definitely not the music. And it’s not even the fact that today I spotted at least 3 women (4, if you include me) at the grocery store sporting “The Rachel.”

After careful observation, I have concluded that mommyhood is basically high school all over again. You know, the time in your life when you’re desperately searching to find out who you are and where you most fit in.

In high school, we had the jocks, preps, punks, popular, dramas, nerds, grunge (yes, grunge).

In mommyhood, we have the working moms, stay-at-home moms, soccer moms, helicopter moms, tiger moms, crunchy moms, yoga moms, yada yada yada. And just like in high school where I floated from clique to clique never really cementing myself into one particular group- motherhood has been a similar experience for me. From the outside, most people would probably say I am more of a crunchy-granola-yoga mom because I choose organic foods, I love to exercise and do yoga, and I try to implement an all around healthy and green lifestyle for my family. But to me, I am just a mish mosh of mom types that never really fit into a mold pre- or post kids:

  • I breast-fed both my children well into toddlerhood, but used disposable diapers.
  • I co-slept initially, but kicked them out as soon as I possibly could.
  • I wore my babies for about 30 seconds, then opted for a stroller.
  • I made my own baby food (once or twice), then busted out the Earth’s Best.
  • I put my kids in time-out and yell when I’m mad.
  • I get tired, cranky, irritated- and am not afraid to admit it.
  • I say “no” to my kids, then change my mind so they will stop nagging me.
  • I make mistakes, but try my hardest to learn from them.
  • Potty training is/was a pain in the ass.

In my experience with motherhood, I think it’s safe to say that versatility is key. Decide what works for you and your family and use it. Keep an open mind and be willing to change and adapt. Take our culture’s obsession with fitting moms into a particular group or category with a grain of salt. The bottom line: We’re moms leading different [crazy] lives and we need all the support we can get to feel confident in our parenting choices. You might be surprised to find the best mom friends you meet could be the ones that do the exact opposite of you.


ps. Meet me in the cafeteria, I saved you a seat.

19 thoughts on “momthropology 101

  1. You “hot the nail on the head”. Described motherhood perfectly. I often feel like I am in high school or middle school for that matter. For whatever reason a lot of moms feel the need to compete. Not me. You like me or you don’t. You like the way I parent or you don’t. I will not compare my kids with others. They are their own individuals just as I. I love your blog…keep up the great work (and honest too)!!

  2. I work in a high school and am constantly grateful that I’m not still back in that era of my life. …I barely made it through as it was! Thankfully, God has given me some pretty good perspective and I no longer feel the “need” to get society’s approval for the choices I make. Nor do I feel the need to judge their choices.

    I’ve found that one of the most helpful things women can do as mothers is to share HONESTLY about what motherhood is REALLY like. Why do so many women feel the need to pretend to have it all together? Why do women not talk about our struggles? There’s no shame in admitting we aren’t perfect. In fact, I applaud people (like you) who can be honest. It’s such a relief to find other people who aren’t afraid to just be who/what they are. 🙂

  3. I couldn’t said it better. It’s refreshing to see that me and my other mommy-friends are the only ones out there with the same outlook.

  4. Thanks for saving me a seat!!! I agree! We are all just trying to find our way, and changing to fit the needs!!! Great post and thanks for including us…as in highschool, it’s always nice to be included!!!:)

  5. This post couldn’t have come at a better time for me! I find myself thinking about this often these days. More so am I amazed at the amount of judging that goes on amongst moms! Potty-training, pacifiers, pre-school, late talkers, etc…..just to name a few of the topics I find myself feeling judged on. Having a child with special needs doesn’t help either. Somedays I even feel it taking some of the joys out of parenting since it causes me to over-analyze and self-scrutinize. But then I just hug my babies and try to forget all the negativity! And reading posts like this sure helps! Thanks for sharing :o)

  6. So freakin refreshing!!!!! And its crazy…..your first 5 descriptions are carbon copies of what practically defines my life as a mother, haha! Apparently I attempt to be “crunchy,” but God knows I have no clue of who I actually am!!! Way to put it into words (no, actually THANK YOU for putting it into words!).

    Ps….if you have child #3, Ella’s organics also make the “I don’t successfully keep up with the homemade organic baby food” guilt a little easier to swallow. :o)

  7. Pingback: Things I Want My Son To Know « Miles Of Memories

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