Is “me time” in motherhood a myth? I believe it depends greatly upon how we define “me time.” For example: Does “me time” in motherhood mean a quick uninterrupted shower, a night out with your best girlfriends, or both? Does it mean relinquishing your role as mom if only for an evening to enjoy a quiet dinner with your husband? Does it even include the husband? Is “me time” something you specifically schedule or do you just take it as it comes? And if you don’t schedule it, do you ever get it? Does “me time” make you happy?
While I feel it is undoubtedly one of the most important things we can give ourselves as mothers, I personally find it stressful to specifically set aside “me time” throughout the day. I’ve learned along the way that trying to fit in “me time” and “friend time” and “husband time” somehow tends to make me crazier than I already am. I’ve found I’m more of a go with the flow kinda gal. Do I enjoy time to myself? Absolutely! I just feel more comfortable not scheduling it. In fact, I try to enjoy “me time” every day even if it’s only for a minute or two or ten. Don’t laugh, but flipping through a magazine, taking a nice walk through the neighborhood with my kids, getting up a bit early and doing some yoga before they wake, these are all ways I mentally recharge and fit in my time. It might not be ideal or long enough, but it helps tremendously.
The key for me is to find those natural lulls in the day to reconnect with myself. When the kids are napping, playing on their own finally!, when I’m chopping veggies for dinner or chatting with a neighbor. The point being that getting “me time” does not have to be about stepping out of my role as a mother. It can be, but luckily for me it doesn’t have to be.
What are some of the ways you fit in “me time”?
I think you are right on with your definition of me time. I think it’s anything that makes us happy, gives us peace, relieves a little stress. It can be waking up a little early to read blogs and have a latte, it can be going for a walk alone, it can even be shutting the bathroom door for five minutes. Sure, the big stuff is heavenly – the girls’ nights, the dates with hubby, the shopping trips – but we need the little stuff as well!
I totally agree with you, it’s the small moments that pop up during the everyday that can often be the most refreshing and revitalizing for a busy mom. Sometimes it’s the unexpected gift of a few extra moments to chat with a friend on the phone or take a shower or a moment of hilarity with the kids that can raise my spirits. I feel more pressure when it’s something that’s scheduled, as well.
I definitely relish nap time or after they are in bed. It’s nice to enjoy the quiet no matter what you are doing!!!
I like your take on what constitutes “me time”. Life is always what you make of it, and you are finding happiness in the small things, in the moments that are your life. I am a busy mom of three, and if I always waited for time away to be happy and calm, I would wait a long time! Thanks for your insight.
Right on! Exactly what I was getting at! Live in the moment. Be happy there.
I feel the same way and can totally relate. Occasionally, I will try to plan time out for myself but it’s so much easier and less stressful to just go with the flow as you said and take breaks as they naturally happen in the day. That way I’m not upset when my big plans get side tracked anyway as they so often do! Absolutely, getting up early or just flipping through a magazine or even reading twitter is “me time” now and feels good.
I felt like sometimes it was more stressful for me to plan a night out. My husband is extremely helpful and supportive, but our lives are so busy right now with our business that our down-time and free time exists throughout our day, whenever we can naturally fit it in. I’m happy checking twitter too!