Ethen the Grouch

We are in week three of pre-k for my little one and I must say that he has turned into quite the monster (Think Oscar, not Elmo). What a terror this kid has been lately. I say no and he says yes. I say go and he says stop. I say jump and he says sit.  He tests his limits now more than ever. Oh and he is cranky, cranky, cranky, grouchy, grouchy, grouchy. Where has my sweet little baby gone? I’m hoping he’s just working out the kinks of being away from mommy throughout the day. Apparently he only works these kinks out while at home with me. Score one for mommy! Obvious sarcasm! On a serious note, his teacher tells me all the time what a kind, loving, gentle little boy he is. That’s the Ethen I remember, but I can’t seem to find lately. Here are some of the things he’s been up to after school:

1. Pulling down and unrolling ALL of the toilet paper while using the bathroom.

2. Coloring the front porch with crayons.

3. Tracing his hand with a Sharpie marker on Ella’s brand new doll house.

4. Throwing all his puzzle pieces on the floor, stomping on them, and screaming, “Bob the Builder, Yes we can!”

5. Repeatedly saying  poop, butt, diarrhea and any other potty word you can think of. Over and over and over again.

Can you say rebellion? I’m thinking that’s what it is. To counter this I’ve decided to lose my mind. I’m just kidding. Actually I’m doing all I can to make sure he is well rested and well fed. I’m making sure he gets extra love and cuddle time from me and daddy and Ella. And finally, I’m crossing my fingers and publicly hoping this passes soon for the sake of all the moms and dads everywhere who suddenly have poop, butt, and diarrhea talking pre-schoolers armed with Sharpie markers and unraveled toilet paper.

Five Things I’ve Learned About My Pre-Schooler This Week

Ethen started pre-k this week and after only three days in I’ve learned some interesting facts about my little boy:

1. He will actually lie down and nap during the day. Pre-K must be mucho exhausting for Ethen. Today his teacher informed me that they have to wake him up after rest time. Who would have thought my little Ethen all curled up in the corner on his sleep mat snoring and drooling all over his make-shift pillow? He would never nap for me at home. Never. In. A. Million. Years. I mean why would he? You know, in his nice comfy bed and all?

2. He hangs out with kids named after a variety of dry pasta. According to E, the following kids sit at his table: Ethen (obviously), Evan, Laney, and Macaroni. Yes, Macaroni.

3.  He goes potty with the bathroom door open. Now this one he does do at home, but I figured at school he would at least close the door when he’s doing his business. (Note: The pre-k bathroom is across the hall from their classroom and apparently they are sent there unescorted.) Ella (my first grader) told me she was walking down the hall with her class when she saw Ethen sitting on the toilet with his pants down and the door wide open. Oh Lord! I just hope he washed his hands!

4. He will only eat yogurt at home. We’ve been having some debacles at lunch with the slightly fermented, semi-solid food. Needless to say, this has led to Ethen being deathly afraid of transporting and consuming yogurt anywhere outside the confines of his own home. We don’t even mention the word. We’ve started referring to it as “probiotic.” Even so, I think he might be catching on. Every time we say “probiotic,” I see him flinch a bit.

5. He kinda likes me more than daddy this week. (I’m not positively sure about this, but all signs are pointing in my favor.) Nick and I went together to pick him up from school yesterday and he ran straight into my arms like a bat outta hell. When I told him to give daddy a hug and a kiss, he perplexedly replied, “Daddy who?”